“Receiving is an act of self-love. When you open your heart to receive, you allow the universe to love you, bless you, and heal you.”
—Louise Hay

At the core of every human being lies a fundamental need—to be loved, seen, accepted, and supported. Yet for many, especially those who have endured trauma, addiction, or emotional distress, receiving love or support can feel unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or even threatening. In Chapter Six of Life Loves You, entitled “Learning to Receive,” Louise Hay and Robert Holden illuminate one of the most overlooked truths in the healing journey: it is not enough to give love—we must also learn to receive it.

This chapter is a transformative exploration of what it truly means to open to life—to let goodness in, to welcome abundance, to say “yes” to support, kindness, praise, and joy. It is a direct challenge to the emotional armor that many people wear, often unconsciously, to protect themselves from rejection, shame, or perceived weakness. And it is a powerful message for anyone suffering from drug and alcohol addiction or mental health struggles, who has learned—through pain and survival—to close off from the very love that could heal them.

Hay and Holden begin by acknowledging a hard truth: many of us are better at giving than receiving. We’ve been taught that giving is noble, selfless, and admirable, while receiving is selfish, weak, or indulgent. But Louise Hay turns this assumption on its head. She writes that receiving is not the opposite of giving—it is its equal partner. Without the ability to receive, the flow of life is interrupted. Love cannot complete its circuit.

For those with low self-worth or a damaged self-image, receiving love, praise, or even help can trigger feelings of unworthiness, guilt, or shame. Statements like:

• “I don’t deserve this.”
• “It’s too much.”
• “I can’t accept that.”
• “I’m fine on my own.”

…are not humility—they are often echoes of old wounds. In this chapter, the authors invite us to look at the emotional and psychological reasons we block receiving, particularly the fear of vulnerability, the belief in unworthiness, and the need to remain in control.

For individuals suffering from addiction or depression, these blocks are often intensified. Many have internalized years of shame, rejection, abandonment, or abuse. To receive love feels unsafe. To be open is to risk being hurt again. So the heart closes, the body tightens, and a wall is built between the self and life. But healing begins when that wall is gently dismantled—and this chapter offers the tools to do just that.

Substance use is often a maladaptive response to emotional deprivation—a way to soothe the pain of disconnection, unmet needs, and feeling unloved. Many people with addiction histories learned early on that receiving love or care came with conditions, rejection, or betrayal. Over time, they stopped asking for what they needed and began to self-medicate their pain.

Receiving, then, becomes not just unfamiliar—but dangerous.

Louise Hay points out that our capacity to receive is directly related to our beliefs about self-worth. If we believe, deep down, that we are “not good enough,” we will block love, help, success, and even healing. We will resist recovery, not because we don’t want it, but because we don’t believe we deserve it.

In transformational counseling and recovery, learning to receive is a critical milestone. When someone in recovery begins to accept help, let in encouragement, say “thank you” instead of deflecting praise, they are reclaiming their right to be loved. They are shifting their identity—from victim or addict to worthy human being. This is not just behavioral—it is deeply spiritual.

Robert Holden shares in this chapter that receiving is an expression of self-love in action. When you allow yourself to receive something good, you are affirming to the universe: “I matter. I am worthy of joy. I am open to being loved.” This is an act of spiritual alignment.

Louise Hay often invited her clients to begin the day by placing a hand over the heart and saying:
“I am open and willing to receive all the good the universe has for me today.”

This affirmation is simple, but it sends a powerful message to the subconscious: You are safe now. You can let love in.

For individuals recovering from trauma or emotional neglect, this practice can begin to repair the inner belief that they must do everything alone. It can dissolve the shame around asking for help or allowing oneself to be cared for.

In addiction treatment, this shift is vital. Recovery is not a solo journey—it depends on support, connection, and vulnerability. Learning to receive the love of a group, the guidance of a sponsor, the compassion of a therapist, or the forgiveness of a loved one is what makes sustainable healing possible.

Chapter Six encourages readers to explore their personal blocks to receiving. Hay and Holden offer reflective questions such as:

• Do I allow myself to receive compliments?
• Do I accept help graciously, or do I feel embarrassed or guilty?
• Do I allow others to love me, or do I keep them at a distance?
• What do I believe about my worthiness to receive?

These questions are especially important in therapeutic work with individuals who have survived abuse, addiction, codependency, or emotional neglect. Often, these individuals developed psychological “armor” to protect themselves—armor that now prevents them from receiving the very connection they long for.

In therapeutic terms, this armor may look like:

• Hyper-independence (“I can’t rely on anyone.”)
• Deflection of praise, love, or kindness
• Caretaking roles that never allow for personal need
• Sabotaging relationships before intimacy can develop
• Numbing when emotions become too vulnerable

The chapter guides readers toward awareness without judgment. These blocks are not flaws—they are survival mechanisms. But the time has come to thank them and gently release them. Life is offering love, healing, and abundance—it is time to say “yes.”

Louise Hay’s signature technique, mirror work, plays a central role in this chapter. She writes that one of the most profound gifts we can give ourselves is the willingness to receive our own love.

Look in the mirror. Gaze into your own eyes. Say:
“I am willing to receive love. I am open to the good in life. I deserve it.”

This practice may bring up resistance, emotion, or discomfort—especially for individuals whose self-image has been damaged by addiction or mental illness. But repetition softens resistance. Over time, this practice plants the seed of worthiness.

In recovery, mirror work helps rewire the subconscious mind. It reinforces a new identity: “I am not broken. I am becoming whole. I am loved.”

Hay and Holden emphasize that receiving is a relational act. It’s not just about affirmations or inner healing—it’s about letting other people’s love into your life. This is often the most challenging part for individuals in early recovery or with a history of mental health struggles.

To receive from others means:

• Trusting someone enough to be vulnerable
• Saying “thank you” without minimizing your worth
• Accepting compliments, support, and encouragement
• Believing that people can love you without conditions

Many individuals carry the belief that love must be earned through performance, perfection, or sacrifice. This chapter reminds us that love is a gift—not a reward. You don’t have to earn it. You only have to be willing to receive it.

One of the most powerful messages in this chapter is that life itself wants to love you. The universe is not neutral or punishing—it is responsive and loving. When we open to receive, we align with this flow. We let go of struggle, scarcity, and fear, and we embrace abundance, grace, and divine timing.

Holden writes that the ability to receive is a spiritual trust fall. It means believing that life is good, that healing is possible, and that you are not alone.

For those in recovery, this message is revolutionary. Addiction often stems from a worldview of pain, abandonment, and distrust. Receiving is the beginning of a new belief:
“Maybe I am loved. Maybe life isn’t against me. Maybe I can trust again.”

Hay and Holden offer a variety of practices to strengthen your ability to receive, many of which can be incorporated into therapeutic or daily routines. These are especially powerful for individuals in recovery and healing:

1. Say “Thank You” and Mean It

When someone offers you a compliment or help, resist the urge to deflect. Instead, say “Thank you.” Breathe it in. Feel it land.

2. Receive in Nature

Let yourself receive the beauty of a sunset, the warmth of the sun, or the sound of birdsong. Open your senses to life’s gifts.

3. Create a Receiving Affirmation

Examples:

• “I am open to receive all the good life has for me.”
• “I am willing to be supported.”
• “I am safe to receive love.”

4. Practice Receiving in Relationships

Allow others to help, listen, support, and care. Practice asking for what you need. This builds emotional intimacy and trust.

5. Keep a Receiving Journal

Each day, note something you received—a smile, kindness, money, love, peace. Celebrate it. Let it in.

In the final pages of this chapter, Hay and Holden circle back to the truth that receiving is an act of healing. It restores balance. It awakens self-love. It reminds us that we are never alone, and that help is always available when we’re ready to receive it.

For individuals suffering from drug and alcohol addiction or mental health challenges, this message is a lifeline. You don’t have to carry it all alone. You don’t have to prove your worth. You don’t have to earn love.

You are worthy because you exist. You are lovable now. Life loves you now. Open your arms, open your heart, and receive.

Chapter Six: “Learning to Receive” is a gateway to transformation. It is an invitation to lay down the armor, release the shame, and embrace the possibility that love is already here—waiting for your “yes.”

For those in recovery or on the path of emotional healing, this chapter is not just inspiring—it is essential. Because healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens when we reconnect—with ourselves, with others, and with the loving force of life itself.

So take a breath. Put your hand over your heart. Say it softly:

“I am ready to receive. Life loves me. And I love myself.”

By Dr. Harry Henshaw
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