At the heart of the transformational counseling model lies a profound truth: We are always doing the best we can with the knowledge, understanding, and awareness that we have at any given moment. This principle, articulated and emphasized by Louise Hay in her seminal work You Can Heal Your Life, is not just a comforting statement; it is a foundation for genuine healing and recovery. For individuals struggling with drug and alcohol addiction or mental health challenges, this principle offers both relief and responsibility. It empowers people to release shame while also guiding them toward a better, more informed life.

Louise Hay writes, “This is not to condemn us, for each of us is doing the very best we can at this very moment. If we knew better, if we had more understanding and awareness, then we would do it differently. Please don’t put yourself down for being where you are.” These words are not only forgiving but liberating. They acknowledge the complexity of human behavior while inspiring the pursuit of transformation.

This article explores the significance and practical impact of this principle within the context of addiction recovery and mental health healing. We will also integrate the Triangle of Transformation—Responsibility, Choice, and Power—to show how this principle operates in real-time as individuals evolve their thinking, beliefs, and lives.

Louise Hay’s teachings emphasize self-love, self-acceptance, and the profound power of thought. Central to her philosophy is the understanding that blaming oneself or others inhibits healing. Instead, Hay invites us to look at our behaviors and experiences through the lens of compassion and psychological evolution. According to her, judgment and self-criticism stall the healing process, whereas forgiveness and insight accelerate it.

When individuals realize they did the best they could given their past experiences, limited knowledge, or emotional wounds, a door opens to self-forgiveness. This is especially important in addiction recovery. Many individuals carry intense shame and guilt for their past actions. These emotions often become barriers to transformation unless addressed with a perspective of compassion.

Hay’s principle doesn’t eliminate responsibility. Instead, it allows for responsibility to emerge from a healthier, empowered state of mind. We recognize we are the creators of our experiences, but also that our capacity to choose better only grows with increased awareness.

Our psychology is our source of power. Every thought, emotion, belief, decision, and behavior emerges from the foundation of our internal landscape—what we know, understand, and are aware of in the present moment. Therefore, the actions we take and the life we live are direct reflections of our inner state.

If our knowledge is limited or distorted, our actions will reflect that limitation. If our beliefs are rooted in fear, shame, or unworthiness, our choices will mirror those beliefs. But when we begin to expand our knowledge and align it with Truth—as Louise Hay defines Truth as that which reflects love, wholeness, and empowerment—our behaviors begin to shift.

The outcome of our lives, then, is not a random event or the product of uncontrollable forces. It is deeply tied to the quality and adequacy of the knowledge we hold. The goal of transformational counseling is to help individuals acquire more adequate knowledge, to awaken understanding, and to increase awareness—because these are the building blocks of healing and change.

For individuals struggling with substance use disorders or mental health challenges, this principle becomes a lifeline. Here’s how:

1. It Releases Shame: Addiction and mental illness often carry a heavy burden of shame. People blame themselves for their perceived failures. When they begin to see that they were doing the best they could given their limited awareness, they can release some of that shame.
2. It Builds Compassion: By accepting their past through this principle, individuals also learn to view others more compassionately. They begin to understand that everyone is acting from their current level of awareness.
3. It Encourages Growth: Recognizing that past actions came from limited knowledge inspires a desire to grow. This shift turns guilt into fuel for transformation.
4. It Supports Nonlinear Progress: Recovery is not a straight line. Relapses or setbacks are often part of the journey. This principle helps individuals see setbacks not as failures but as outcomes of temporary limitations in awareness.
5. It Emphasizes Learning: Every experience becomes a lesson. What matters is not perfection but the continuous willingness to expand awareness.

The Triangle of Transformation consists of three essential principles: Responsibility, Choice, and Power. The idea that we are doing the best we can intersects directly with each corner of the Triangle.

Responsibility

Responsibility in transformational counseling means acknowledging that we are the creators of our lives. But it’s not about blame. It means that while we were doing our best with what we knew, we can now take responsibility to learn more, to see more, and to do better.

Taking responsibility becomes possible and empowering only when it is paired with the recognition that past actions were not failures of character, but reflections of limited knowledge.

Choice

Choice is only possible when awareness is present. If we don’t know we have a choice, we cannot make one. As our awareness grows, our capacity for conscious decision-making increases. The principle reminds us that poor choices in the past often arose from a lack of true options—not from moral failure. As we learn more, new paths open.

Power

True power emerges from within. It is the result of clarity, truth, and self-alignment. When individuals begin to believe they can act differently because they know better, they experience authentic empowerment. This principle reminds us that we are never powerless. We are always capable of increasing our power by increasing our understanding.

Addiction and mental health issues often flourish in environments of judgment—from others and from within. The healing journey, however, thrives in environments of understanding.

By embracing this principle, individuals move from saying:

• “What’s wrong with me?” to *”I was doing the best I could.”
• “I failed again.” to *”I didn’t yet have the awareness I needed.”
• “I can’t change.” to *”I can learn more, and I will change.”

This shift is not merely linguistic; it is foundational. It changes the energy of the recovery journey and reframes every moment as an opportunity for growth.

Awareness is the first step in transformation. It is the light that shines on our unconscious habits, destructive beliefs, and limiting stories. Without awareness, we continue to act from our past patterns. With awareness, we begin to break free.

The principle that we are doing the best we can with our current awareness highlights the role of awakening in healing. Every increase in awareness represents a new chance to choose differently.

This is why transformational counseling emphasizes mindfulness, journaling, affirmations, and reflective practices. These tools enhance awareness, helping clients tune into their internal experiences and bring unconscious material into the light.

1. Daily Reflection: End the day by asking, “Did I do the best I could today with what I knew? What did I learn?”
2. Self-Forgiveness Statements: Use affirmations like, “I forgive myself for not knowing what I didn’t know. I choose to learn and grow.”
3. Reframe the Past: Look at moments of regret and apply this principle. Ask, “What was I thinking or feeling then? What did I believe at the time?”
4. Growth Journal: Track personal insights and new awareness. Note how these are changing behaviors and decisions.
5. Mirror Work: As Louise Hay suggests, look in the mirror and say, “I love you. You were doing the best you could.”
6. Compassion Practice: Extend the principle to others. Reflect on how others may also be acting from limited awareness.
7. Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices cultivate present-moment awareness and help break automatic patterns.

As individuals in recovery acquire more truthful, loving, and empowering knowledge about themselves and life, their behavior naturally changes. The more we align with Truth—the truth of our inherent worth, our power to choose, and our capacity to heal—the more we transform.

Our work, then, is not to strive for perfection but to strive for awareness. Not to judge, but to understand. Not to punish, but to empower.

Each step forward is built on this foundational truth: We were doing the best we could, and now we know more, so we can do better.

The principle that we are always doing the best we can is more than just a kind thought. It is a cornerstone of transformational healing. When applied to addiction recovery and mental health treatment, it releases judgment, fosters growth, and aligns with the deeper truths of self-worth, responsibility, and potential.

This principle, championed by Louise Hay and central to the Triangle of Transformation, empowers individuals to let go of the past with compassion, embrace the present with awareness, and step into the future with conscious responsibility.

When we realize that knowledge is power and that awareness leads to choice, we open the door to lasting recovery.

Let this be the mantra for every person on the path to healing: “I did the best I could with what I knew. Now I know more, and I will do better.”

I want to remind myself that I am always doing my best that I can in every aspect of my life, given the knowledge, understanding, and awareness I have at this moment. As I grow and learn more, I will naturally start to act differently, better and with greater wisdom. True transformation comes from consistently seeking knowledge and doing the inner work needed to turn that knowledge into lived wisdom. Knowledge is power and when embraced and applied becomes wisdom.

By Dr. Harry Henshaw
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